Updated: October 2025 – latest advice for healing from betrayal
Finding out your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend can really hurt. It feels like a huge betrayal from the two people you trusted the most. You might find yourself feeling a mix of sadness, anger, and confusion.
It’s hard knowing that both your boyfriend and your best friend broke your trust. This situation can put everything in your life into question. It’s crucial to take the time to process your feelings and think about what steps you need to take to start healing.
In this article, we’ll explore the emotions you might experience, how to cope with the pain, and some ways to heal and move forward during this tough time.
When the Betrayal Involves Two People You Trusted
When your boyfriend cheats on you with your best friend, it’s not just about broken trust, it’s a double betrayal. You lose two of the closest bonds in your life at the same time. That pain cuts deeper than a typical breakup because it shakes your sense of safety, loyalty, and even self-worth.
Cheating hurts so much because:
- It damages trust: Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Once it’s broken, even simple things feel uncertain.
- It affects identity: Many people start questioning, “Was I not enough?” or “What did I do wrong?” – even though the blame lies with the betrayers.
- It creates loneliness: Betrayal by both a partner and a best friend can leave you feeling like you have no one left to turn to.
- It triggers grief: You’re not only losing a relationship, you’re also mourning the friendship you once thought was unshakable.
This deep emotional wound is why the recovery process takes time. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, it means slowly rebuilding trust in yourself and in others, step by step.
Common Reactions After Finding Out
The Shock of Betrayal
When you first discover that your boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend, it’s almost unbelievable. You might be hit with a wave of shock and confusion because you trusted both of them completely.
This kind of news can feel like your entire world is crashing down around you. It’s completely normal to feel lost as if everything you thought you knew about your relationship has just unraveled into a lie.
“The shock hits you like a punch to the gut, leaving you breathless and broken. It’s as if everything you believed in, every bit of trust you had, was nothing more than a cruel lie.”
Anger toward both people
You will go through many emotions, anger, sadness, and even disbelief. There might be moments when you feel numb as if you’re just going through the motions or stuck in a dream.
It’s crucial to recognize that all these feelings are totally valid. While the pain can be intense and overwhelming, remember that it won’t last forever. Allow yourself to feel everything, but also prioritize taking care of your emotional well-being.
“Betrayal hits with anger, sadness, and disbelief, leaving you numb. But remember, every feeling is valid, and though the pain is overwhelming, it won’t last forever.”
Loss of trust beyond the relationship
The pain cuts deeper when both your boyfriend and best friend betray you. Your boyfriend’s cheating shatters the trust you had in your romantic relationship. But when your best friend is in the mix, it feels like a double betrayal.
You might find yourself feeling crushed as if you’ve lost two important people in your life, which can be incredibly hard to process.
“The pain cuts deeper when both your boyfriend and your best friend betray you. It’s not just the loss of trust in your relationship, but the heartbreak of losing two people you thought you could rely on. It feels like a double betrayal, and the weight of it can crush you, making it almost impossible to process.”
What People Often Struggle With Next
Taking Time for Yourself
It’s important to take a break from both of them to process what has happened. You might feel the need to step away from your boyfriend and best friend to clear your head. It’s completely okay to take that time for yourself.
Use this opportunity to think about what you want and need from your relationships moving forward.
“Sometimes, you need to step away from both of them to heal. It’s okay to take time for yourself — to clear your mind and process the pain. This space gives you the chance to reflect on what you truly need and want in your relationships, moving forward.”
Talking to Someone You Trust
Talking to someone who genuinely cares can really help. Whether it’s a family member, a close friend, or even a counselor, sharing what you’re going through can make a world of difference. It helps you feel more supported and not so alone. Don’t keep everything to yourself; opening up can lighten the load.
“Talking to someone who cares can ease the pain and make you feel less alone. Don’t keep it all inside, sharing your heart lightens the burden.”
Deciding What to Do Next
Once you’ve had some time to heal, you’ll need to figure out what to do about your relationships. Do you want to work on things with your boyfriend? Can you really trust your best friend again? Sometimes, the best choice is to let go of both of them, even if it’s tough. Moving on might lead you to healthier and more trustworthy connections.
“After you’ve had time to heal, you’ll face the hard decision of what to do next. Can you rebuild trust with your boyfriend? Can your friendship ever be the same? Sometimes, the hardest choice is to let go of both, but doing so can open the door to healthier, more trustworthy connections.”
Before You Decide What Comes Next
Healing Takes Time
Getting over betrayal isn’t easy, and it definitely doesn’t happen all at once. So, be kind to yourself. It’s totally normal to have days when you feel stuck or like you’re not improving. But with time, you will heal. Try to focus on making small steps each day to feel a little better.
“Healing from betrayal takes time, and it’s okay if it doesn’t happen all at once. Be gentle with yourself on the tough days when it feels like you’re not moving forward. With time, you will heal, just take small steps each day, and slowly, you’ll begin to feel better.”
Remember Your Worth
Most importantly, always remember that you deserve love and respect. Nobody should make you feel like less than what you are. Don’t put up with people who hurt you. Surround yourself with those who genuinely care about your happiness and well-being.
“Never forget your worth; you deserve love, respect, and kindness. No one has the right to make you feel less than you are. Don’t settle for people who hurt you. Surround yourself with those who truly care about your happiness and well-being.”
Moving Forward
The future might feel a bit uncertain at the moment, but this experience can teach you some important lessons. You’ll come out of it stronger and more confident in yourself. Use this time to find out what makes you happy and focus on your own goals. You deserve a life filled with love, respect, and trust.
“The future may feel uncertain, but this pain will make you stronger. Use this time to rediscover your happiness and focus on your goals. You deserve a life filled with love and trust.”
Final Note
When a boyfriend cheats with a close friend, the damage goes beyond the relationship. Two sources of trust break at the same time, and that loss reshapes how you see people, loyalty, and yourself. What follows is often confusion rather than clarity, and that is part of the reality of this situation.
There is no fixed timeline for what comes next. Some people step back, others confront, some cut ties completely. What matters is not moving quickly, but making choices that do not ignore what this betrayal exposed. Pay attention to how your boundaries change, who earns access to you again, and who does not.
This experience does not define your value, but it does change your expectations. That shift is not a weakness. It is information you didn’t have before.
FAQs
1. How do I cope when my boyfriend cheats on me with my best friend?
Coping when your boyfriend cheats on you with your best friend means first acknowledging the hurt instead of suppressing it. Focus on self-care, talk to trusted people, and remind yourself the betrayal reflects their choices, not your worth.
2. Should I confront my boyfriend and best friend after the betrayal?
Confronting your boyfriend and best friend after betrayal depends on your emotional safety. A calm conversation may bring closure, but you are not obligated, walking away is often healthier.
3. Is it possible to forgive someone who betrayed me like this?
Forgiving someone who betrayed you like this is possible, but it doesn’t mean you have to reconcile. Forgiveness is about freeing yourself from anger, and you should only do it when you feel ready.
4. How long does it take to heal after being cheated on?
Healing after being cheated on can take months or even years, depending on your situation. What matters is giving yourself patience, seeking therapy if needed, and letting the process unfold naturally.
5. Can I ever trust again after such betrayal?
Trust after such betrayal can be rebuilt, but it starts with trusting yourself first. With time, boundaries, and healthier relationships, trusting others again becomes possible.
6. Should I cut off both of them completely?
Cutting off both your boyfriend and best friend after betrayal is usually the best path to healing. Unless unavoidable circumstances keep you connected, distance protects your peace.
7. Why do people cheat with a close friend?
People cheat with a close friend because they lack boundaries, respect, or maturity. Their actions are about their flaws, not about your value or what you did wrong.
