Maybe you’ve imagined it but never said it out loud , that one thought that turns you on, excites you, or feels too bold to mention. Most couples have fantasies, but only a few ever talk about them. Why? Because vulnerability in the bedroom feels risky. What if they judge you? What if they don’t feel the same way?
But here’s the truth , sexual fantasies are completely normal, and sharing them can actually make your relationship stronger. According to a Kinsey Institute study, nearly 90% of couples admit they have sexual fantasies, but less than half ever discuss them. When shared with trust and care, these fantasies become a way to explore, bond, and deepen intimacy , not just physically, but emotionally too.
This isn’t about pushing limits or being “wild.” It’s about discovering what makes both of you feel alive and connected. When you talk about fantasies, you’re really talking about comfort, honesty, and desire , the three things every passionate relationship needs.
Here Are 12 Best Sexual Fantasies to Try With Your Partner
In this article, we’ll explore 12 of the best sexual fantasies for couples to try together, how to talk about them safely, and ways to make the experience exciting yet respectful for both of you.
1. Roleplay and Identity Exploration
Roleplay is one of the most common and exciting sexual fantasies for couples , and for good reason. It lets you both step out of your usual roles and explore different sides of yourselves. Maybe you’ve imagined being a stranger at a bar, a boss and an employee, or just trying something that feels new and fun.
According to the Kinsey Institute, about 65% of couples say they’ve thought about roleplay, and nearly half have tried it at least once. The reason it works so well is simple , it mixes imagination with trust. You both get to play, laugh, and experience something different without leaving the safety of your relationship.
The key is to keep it light and respectful. Talk about what excites you and what doesn’t. Set boundaries, use safe words if needed, and remember that roleplay is about connection, not performance.
Start small , maybe by creating a story together or changing your environment a little. It’s not about being someone else; it’s about discovering a new part of yourself with the person you love.
2. The Power Dynamic (Dominance and Submission)
Many couples are curious about dominance and submission fantasies, even if they’ve never talked about it openly. It’s not about control or aggression , it’s about trust, playfulness, and exploring power in a safe, loving way.
In this fantasy, one partner takes the lead while the other lets go. It could be as simple as gentle instructions, teasing, or setting a playful scenario where one partner is “in charge.” According to a Journal of Sexual Medicine study, nearly 47% of people have fantasised about dominance or submission at least once.
What makes this fantasy powerful isn’t the act itself , it’s the emotional exchange. One partner feels free to surrender, while the other feels trusted to lead. It builds closeness, confidence, and communication.
If you’re trying this for the first time, talk about boundaries clearly. Use a safe word, go slow, and check in often. You don’t need whips or blindfolds to make it exciting , even gentle direction or playful restraint can bring a whole new spark to intimacy.
At its heart, this fantasy is about trust and emotional safety , two things that make real passion last.
3. Romantic Seduction or the “First Time” Fantasy
One of the sweetest and most popular sexual fantasies for couples is reliving the excitement of that first time , the first date, first kiss, or first night together. It’s not about pretending to be someone else; it’s about remembering what it felt like to want each other with curiosity and butterflies again.
According to a survey by the Kinsey Institute, around 58% of couples say they’ve fantasised about recreating an early moment of attraction , often because it brings back emotional warmth and passion that gets lost in daily life.
You can keep this fantasy simple. Dress up as if you’re meeting for the first time, flirt like strangers, or plan a night that feels completely new. The goal isn’t to act perfectly , it’s to rediscover that spark you had when everything felt fresh and exciting.
This kind of fantasy helps couples rebuild emotional intimacy and sexual chemistry without pressure. It reminds you that passion doesn’t have to fade , sometimes it just needs a little imagination to come alive again.
4. The Sensory Control Fantasy (Blindfolds, Touch, and Anticipation)
This fantasy is all about slowing things down and heightening the senses. Using simple things like a blindfold, a scarf, or gentle restraints lets you and your partner explore touch, trust, and surrender in a safe and exciting way. When you can’t see what’s coming next, every small movement feels more intense.
According to a Psychology Today report, nearly 60% of couples have tried or expressed interest in sensory play , not for control, but to build deeper trust and excitement. It’s one of the most intimate sexual fantasies for couples, because it’s built on vulnerability and communication.
You can start small. Try using a soft blindfold, light teasing with feathers or ice, or taking turns being in control. Check in often and agree on boundaries before you begin , the goal is to make both partners feel safe and curious.
This fantasy reminds you that pleasure isn’t just physical; it’s emotional. It’s about giving your partner your trust and knowing they’ll handle it with care.
5. The “Public but Private” Fantasy
Many couples are drawn to the thrill of almost being seen , the “public but private” fantasy. It’s not about crossing lines or doing anything unsafe; it’s about feeling that rush of excitement while still staying within your comfort zone.
Maybe it’s a kiss in a quiet corner, holding hands under a restaurant table, or a slow whisper that only the two of you understand. That mix of connection and secrecy often makes things feel more passionate.
According to a Journal of Sex Research survey, nearly 45% of people admit to fantasising about being intimate in a semi-public place , somewhere safe but still slightly daring. This fantasy taps into spontaneity, confidence, and shared risk, all of which can reignite the spark in long-term relationships.
If you want to try it, start subtle. It could be a private moment during a walk, a parked car, or even a playful message when you’re out together. The goal isn’t to get caught , it’s to remind yourselves that you can still feel wild and wanted, even in the middle of ordinary life.
This kind of fantasy can help couples reconnect through adventure, secrecy, and shared excitement , without stepping out of respect or safety.
6. The Romantic Stranger Fantasy
The “stranger fantasy” is one of the easiest and most fun ways to bring excitement back into a relationship. It’s about pretending to meet your partner for the first time , flirting, teasing, and rediscovering each other without the daily routines and labels that come with marriage.
You could plan a night out, meet at a café or bar, and act like two people seeing each other for the first time. It sounds simple, but it creates a spark that feels fresh and playful again.
According to research from the Kinsey Institute, almost half of couples say they’ve imagined or tried this fantasy because it helps them reconnect and see their partner in a new light.
You don’t need fancy outfits or a perfect plan , just curiosity and a bit of fun. The goal isn’t to act perfectly; it’s to remember how it felt when everything between you was new.
This fantasy brings back the butterflies , reminding you that attraction doesn’t fade, it just needs a little imagination to wake it up.
7. The Massage and Sensual Touch Fantasy
Sometimes the most powerful sexual fantasies for couples aren’t about big changes , they’re about slowing down and enjoying touch in a more mindful way. A sensual massage fantasy is exactly that. It’s about using soft touches, warm oil, and slow movements to build connection, trust, and pleasure.
According to the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, about 72% of couples say touch and physical closeness improve their emotional bond and intimacy. Massage isn’t just relaxing; it helps you reconnect when life feels rushed or distant.
You can set the scene with low light, calming music, and a simple rule , no rush. Take turns giving and receiving. Focus on how your partner’s body responds, not on what comes next. It’s less about technique and more about presence.
This fantasy helps you both feel safe, desired, and connected , things every couple needs, no matter how long you’ve been together. Sometimes, touch says everything words can’t.
8. The Voyeur or “Being Watched” Fantasy
The voyeur fantasy , or the idea of being watched , is one of the most common yet least talked-about sexual fantasies for couples. It’s not always about real exposure; often, it’s about the feeling of being seen, admired, and desired.
For some couples, this fantasy might mean recording a private moment (for your eyes only) or simply imagining being watched while you’re together. It’s about building confidence and sparking that natural thrill that comes from being noticed.
According to a Kinsey Institute report, nearly 44% of people have fantasised about being watched or watching their partner. It’s a form of shared vulnerability , both partners step into a space where trust, confidence, and openness matter more than perfection.
If you want to try this fantasy, talk about boundaries first. Keep it private and safe , maybe start with dim lighting or a mirror in the room. The idea isn’t to shock; it’s to explore what it feels like to be truly seen by your partner.
This fantasy works best when it’s built on mutual trust and respect. It’s not about performing , it’s about letting your partner see the side of you that feels free.
9. The Outdoor Adventure Fantasy
The outdoor fantasy is about adding a touch of adventure to your intimacy , not about taking big risks. It’s the feeling of freedom, the fresh air, and the quiet thrill of being together somewhere outside your usual space.
It could be a walk at night where you steal a long kiss, cuddling under a blanket in your backyard, or finding a quiet spot on a road trip to share an intimate moment. According to the Journal of Sex Research, around 43% of couples have fantasised about being intimate outdoors , not for danger, but for the excitement of breaking routine.
Nature brings something different to closeness. The sounds, the breeze, and the openness make everything feel raw and real. It’s a way to reconnect without walls or distractions.
If you try this, keep it private and respectful. The goal isn’t to get caught , it’s to share something spontaneous and exciting that’s just between you two.
Sometimes, changing the scenery is all it takes to remind you how alive your connection really is.
10. The Morning or Slow Wake-Up Fantasy
This one is soft, simple, and deeply intimate , the morning fantasy. It’s about starting the day slowly, with warmth and closeness instead of rushing out of bed. No plans, no pressure , just the quiet comfort of being together before the world wakes up.
Many couples say morning intimacy feels more connected because it’s natural and calm. According to a Men’s Health and Women’s Health survey, nearly 55% of couples prefer morning affection or sex because it boosts their mood and strengthens emotional closeness for the rest of the day.
You don’t have to make it a big moment. It could be soft touches, cuddling, or lazy kisses that lead wherever they may. What makes this fantasy beautiful is that it’s real , no scripts, no pretending, just love in its simplest form.
This fantasy reminds you that intimacy doesn’t always have to be wild or planned. Sometimes, the most meaningful connection happens when you’re half-awake, warm, and holding each other close.
11. The Surprise Encounter Fantasy
The surprise encounter fantasy is about bringing a little mystery and excitement back into your relationship. It’s not about catching your partner off guard , it’s about creating a moment that feels unexpected and full of desire.
You could surprise them with a flirty text during the day, a candlelit setup at home, or simply an intimate moment when they least expect it. The goal is to break routine and remind each other that passion doesn’t always need planning.
According to a Kinsey Institute study, nearly 48% of couples say they feel more attracted to their partner when intimacy happens spontaneously. That’s because surprise makes the brain release dopamine , the same chemical linked to pleasure and excitement.
You don’t need to make it dramatic , even a small gesture can light a spark. Whisper something playful when you pass by, touch their hand unexpectedly, or plan a quiet evening they never saw coming.
This fantasy works because it reminds you that desire doesn’t need to fade with time , it just needs a little room to surprise you again.
12. The Emotional Intimacy Fantasy (Deep Connection Without Pressure)
Not every fantasy is about adventure or thrill , sometimes, it’s about closeness. The emotional intimacy fantasy is one of the most powerful because it’s about being fully seen and loved exactly as you are.
This fantasy is simple , no scripts, no roles, no expectations. It could be lying in bed together, sharing things you’ve never said, or holding each other until words don’t matter. It’s about connecting beyond the physical, where touch feels safe and emotions feel understood.
According to a Journal of Social and Personal Relationships study, couples who focus on emotional intimacy report higher satisfaction and longer-lasting attraction in their relationships. That’s because real passion starts in the mind and heart before it ever reaches the body.
If you try this, slow down. Make space to listen, talk, or simply breathe together. Let your partner see the parts of you that usually stay hidden.
This kind of fantasy doesn’t fade , it deepens. Because when emotional closeness and physical desire meet, intimacy becomes something far more meaningful than sex alone.
Final Thoughts About Sexual Fantasies to Try With Your Partner
Exploring sexual fantasies with your partner isn’t about being wild or pushing limits , it’s about being honest, curious, and connected. Every couple has desires they don’t always talk about, but sharing them can make your relationship stronger and more open.
Whether it’s a roleplay, a sensual massage, or simply slowing down to reconnect emotionally, these fantasies can help you rediscover comfort, excitement, and trust. According to the Kinsey Institute, couples who talk openly about intimacy report higher satisfaction and stronger emotional bonds.
Start small. Talk, listen, and always respect each other’s comfort zones. The goal isn’t to try everything , it’s to grow together, one honest conversation at a time.
If you’re struggling to talk about your fantasies or intimacy, you can always reach out for help. At Leaphope, our sex therapists and relationship counsellors can help you and your partner rebuild communication, confidence, and closeness , safely and privately.
FAQs About Sexual Fantasies to Try With Your Partner
1. Is it normal to have sexual fantasies in a relationship?
Yes, it’s completely normal. Most people have sexual fantasies, even in happy relationships. It doesn’t mean something is missing , it just means you have a healthy imagination and curiosity.
2. How can I tell my partner about my fantasy without feeling awkward?
Pick a relaxed moment and talk gently. You can say something like, “I read about a fantasy that sounded interesting , what do you think?” Keep it playful and open instead of serious or pressured.
3. What if my partner isn’t comfortable with my fantasy?
That’s okay. Everyone has different comfort zones. Try to understand their feelings and maybe find something that excites both of you. The goal is connection, not forcing anything.
4. Is it wrong to have fantasies about things I’ll never do?
Not at all. Thinking about something doesn’t mean you want to act on it. Fantasies are just thoughts , and they often stay in the imagination.
5. What are some common sexual fantasies couples have?
Many couples enjoy roleplay, dominance and submission, romantic stranger encounters, outdoor adventures, or sensual massages. These aren’t just about sex , they build trust and closeness too.
6. How do I make sure my partner feels safe when trying a fantasy?
Always talk first. Set clear boundaries and agree on what feels okay and what doesn’t. The moment your partner feels safe, the experience becomes fun for both of you.
7. I’m too shy to talk about fantasies. How do I start?
You can start small , maybe share an article or say, “Would you ever try something like this?” The goal isn’t to shock them, just to open up a comfortable conversation.
8. Can trying fantasies actually make our marriage stronger?
Yes. When couples talk about fantasies openly, it often improves communication, trust, and emotional connection. It’s less about the fantasy itself , and more about feeling free to be honest with each other.
9. How do I know if a fantasy is healthy?
A fantasy is healthy if both partners agree, feel safe, and respect each other’s limits. If something feels wrong or uncomfortable, stop and talk about it , or speak with a sex therapist for guidance.
10. Where can I talk to someone about my fantasies or intimacy problems?
You can connect with a licensed sex therapist or relationship counsellor at Leaphope. Sessions are private, online, and focused on helping couples build better intimacy and communication.
