Starting college is exciting, but it can also feel lonely when it comes to making friends. Many students think they’ll quickly connect with others, but that’s not always the case.
In India, about 29% of college students report feeling very lonely, especially during their first year. Female students often experience higher levels of loneliness compared to male students.
Globally, around 27% of people aged 19-29 feel lonely during their college years. So, if you’re struggling to make friends, remember — you’re not alone.
The good news? You can still build meaningful friendships. In this article, we’ll discuss why making friends can be hard and what you can do to change that.
6 Reasons Why You Might Not Have Friends in College
Starting college is exciting, but making friends can be challenging for various reasons. Let’s explore some common reasons:
1. Shyness or Social Anxiety
If you’re shy or have social anxiety, interacting with new people can be daunting. This is common among students; studies have shown that 24.8% of students experience high levels of social anxiety.
2. Packed Schedules
College life is busy. Balancing classes, assignments, part-time jobs, and extracurricular activities can leave little time for socializing. When your schedule is full, it can be hard to find opportunities to meet new people.
3. Different Interests or Lifestyles
Not everyone in college will share your interests or lifestyle, which can make connecting with others challenging. However, with over 42,000 colleges and universities in India, there’s a good chance you’ll find like-minded individuals if you seek them out.
4. Fear of Rejection
It’s natural to fear rejection when trying to make new friends. Past experiences can make you hesitant to reach out, but remember, many students are open to new connections.
5. Cultural or Personality Differences
College brings together people from diverse backgrounds. Cultural or personality differences can make it seem harder to connect, but these differences also offer opportunities to learn and grow.
6. Expecting Too Much Too Soon
Building friendships takes time. Expecting instant connections can lead to disappointment. Being patient and allowing relationships to develop naturally is key.
7 Tips What to Do If You Have No Friends
1. Start Small Conversations in Class
Starting a conversation doesn’t have to be complicated. After class, turn to the person next to you and ask, “Did you understand today’s lecture?” or “Are you working on the same assignment?”
A small conversation like this can easily lead to longer talks and casual hangouts. Once you start approaching people, it will slowly become easier to make friends.
2. Join a Club or Society on Campus
Colleges often have clubs for different activities like music, drama, dance, coding, or photography. Joining a club related to your interest is a great way to meet new people.
For example, if you love sports, joining a sports club can connect you with like-minded individuals. It also gives you a regular opportunity to meet the same people, helping friendships grow naturally.
3. Use Social Media or College WhatsApp Groups
Many colleges have WhatsApp, Telegram, or Facebook groups for students. These groups are often used to share updates, event notifications, and group discussions. You can use this space to connect with classmates. You can send a simple message like “I’m looking for a study partner for the upcoming exams. Anyone interested?” This is an easy way to find someone to study with, which can eventually turn into friendship.
4. Attend College Events or Workshops
Most colleges organize events, workshops, or fests throughout the year. Attending these events can give you a chance to meet students from different classes or departments.
If you attend a music fest, you can easily strike up a conversation by saying, “Which band are you most excited about?” Events create a natural setting to connect with others without pressure.
5. Invite Someone for Lunch or Coffee
If you’ve had small talks with someone, take the next step by inviting them for lunch, coffee, or a quick snack after class. This will help strengthen the bond and make them comfortable around you.
For example, after a class, you can casually say, “I’m heading to the canteen, do you wanna join?” Even if they decline the first time, don’t feel discouraged. Keep the connection going until it feels natural.
6. Form a Study Group
Getting together for a study group is a fun way to connect with classmates. If you’re having a tough time with a subject or getting ready for exams, grab a few friends and hit the books together.
You could say something like, “Wanna join a study group for the next exam?” Not only will it help with your studies, but it’s a great way to hang out and get to know each other better.
7. Be the First to Text or Call
Don’t hesitate to be the first to text or call after meeting someone. If you had a conversation in class, at an event, or while working on a group project, dropping them a message can really help keep that connection alive.
Want to grab a bite after class tomorrow?” Making the first move shows you’re keen on becoming friends, and most people really appreciate that.
7 Ideas How to Keep the Friendships You Make
1. Plan a Weekly Meet-Up
Instead of waiting for random meetups, set a fixed day or time each week to hang out. It could be a coffee break, study session, or a lunch meetup. Scheduling time ensures that you don’t drift apart due to busy schedules.
Example: Every Friday after class, plan a quick lunch or group study session. This routine keeps your bond strong without much effort.
2. Study Together Before Exams
When exams approach, stress levels increase, and people often isolate themselves. This is the perfect time to stay connected by forming study groups or revision sessions. Example: Text your friends a week before exams like “Let’s do a group study session for chemistry. It’ll be fun.” This not only helps in studying but also keeps your friendship strong.
3. Plan Movie Nights or Weekend Outings
Don’t just stick to college-related interactions. Plan a movie night, picnic, or weekend outing once a month to spend quality time together. This helps create lasting memories outside of class.
Example: Plan a movie marathon at someone’s place or a short trip to a nearby park or mall. This strengthens the friendship bond beyond academics.
4. Help Them During Difficult Times
If your friend is going through a rough time (like failing an exam, relationship issues, or homesickness), be there for them. Emotional support during hard times deepens friendships.
Example: If your friend is upset after failing a test, say, “Forget about it. Let’s go for a walk or grab a snack. You’ll feel better.” Small support gestures build strong friendships.
5. Tag Them in Memes or Social Media Posts
In the digital world, tagging friends in funny memes, reels, or relatable content keeps the connection alive, especially when you don’t see each other daily.
Example: If you see a funny meme that reminds you of your friend, tag them with “This is so you!”. This keeps the conversation going even during busy days.
6. Attend Their Events
If your friend is performing in a college event, presenting a project, or participating in any activity, show up. Supporting them in their important moments makes the friendship stronger.
Example: If your friend is participating in a singing competition, attend it and cheer for them. Later, you can say, “You were amazing up there!”. This makes them feel valued.
7. Remember Important Dates
Make it a habit to remember their birthdays, special days, or any important event happening in their life. This small act makes them feel appreciated. Example: If your friend has a presentation or interview, send them a text like “Good luck today! You’ll do great.”. This thoughtful gesture keeps friendships strong.
Final Thought
Making friends in college can be a bit tough, and that’s totally alright. It might take some time to find your crew, but don’t get discouraged.
Be gentle with yourself, take some risks, and keep putting yourself out there. Start with small steps—say hi to someone in class, join a club, or just invite someone to hang out. Little by little, you’ll build some solid friendships.
Remember, everyone else is figuring things out, too, so don’t hesitate to reach out. The right people will come into your life when you least expect it—you just have to be willing to give it a shot.
FAQs About Why You Might Not Have Friends in College
1. What should I do if it feels like no one wants to be friends with me?
Don’t lose hope! Sometimes, it just takes a little time to find your people. Keep joining clubs, attending events, or simply talking to classmates. Eventually, you’ll find someone who connects with you, just don’t stop trying.
2. How can I start a conversation with someone new?
Start with something easy like asking about the class, homework, or upcoming events. Simple conversations often lead to friendships.
3. What if I’m too shy to approach someone?
It’s completely okay to feel shy. You don’t have to start with big conversations. Just smile, say hi, or sit near the same group of people regularly. Slowly, you’ll feel comfortable enough to join in.
4. How do I find people who share my interests?
Look for clubs, hobby groups, or campus events that match your interests. You can also check social media groups related to your college. Being around people who enjoy the same things makes it easier to bond.
5. What if I don’t feel like I fit in with anyone?
That’s normal, and it doesn’t mean you won’t find friends. Sometimes, it just takes time to meet the right people. Keep exploring different groups or events, and eventually, you’ll find your circle.
6. What if I’m scared of being rejected?
Rejection happens to everyone, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Keep trying, and don’t take it personally. The right friends will come along — you just have to keep putting yourself out there.
